Havelock Vetinari (
oneman_onevote) wrote2006-10-01 10:59 pm
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Thunk.
Thud.
An apple, knife embedded neatly through the middle, hits the carpet with a dull thump. Havelock looks vaguely affronted, and moves it discreetly into the correct target, a small wooden bowl.
How embarrassing.
Thunk.
Hmm. Better.
Thud.
An apple, knife embedded neatly through the middle, hits the carpet with a dull thump. Havelock looks vaguely affronted, and moves it discreetly into the correct target, a small wooden bowl.
How embarrassing.
Thunk.
Hmm. Better.
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"Oh, I'm sure."
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Thunk.
Another apple dies an untimely but merciful death.
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"I suppose it should be too much to hope that you might aspire to something interesting today?"
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"Such as?"
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Of course, if Havelock goes around saying this, Puck will have to kill him.
He tilts his head to the side, eyeing his toenails.
"The paint is a start."
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"Do you think the fingers should match, then?"
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"I think," he says, solemnly, "that that should be most excellent good sense."
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Leaning over, he fishes in a nearby drawer for the bottle.
"Do you want any?"
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"I am feeling rather peckish."
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"Lunch, then?"
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He offers the bottle, in any case.
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And makes a face.
Maybe if it were the cherry-flavored kind.
He slides off the bed and next to Havelock, grabbing for one of his hands.
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"I am sure something more sustaining can be arranged," he says.
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And decides that what Havelock really needs is an Authentically Piratical Black Spot.
:D?
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It goes with his outfit.
"I can guarantee it."
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"Can you really?" he murmurs. "I should be forever in your debt."
Meanwhile, the nails of his other hand grow progressively blacker.
Two Black Spots would be overkill.
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"Well yes, unless downstairs has spontaneously vanished."
He likes to cover all bases.
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(Also, he takes a tentative lick of the nail polish, and determines that it's not exactly on his Top Ten list of favorite foods ever.)
"In which case," he decides, "I suppose it might be best to ensure that it has not met such a fate."
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"Shall we investigate, then?"
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And gives Havelock a gentle smack on the wrist.
"Do try not to smudge it."
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The eyebrow is wounded.
"I shall take utmost care."
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And, as luck would have it, the stairs do appear to lead to ... the downstairs, as opposed to an empty crater or dark void of nothingness.
Puck is pleased.
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He appears to have forgotten his shoes, but doesn't really mind.
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"I'm rather in a mood for figgy pudding."
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He's never actually tried it. But at Hogswatch it is very popular, apparently.
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"I wonder if they serve it on fire ..."
And he's off, wandering towards the Bar.
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And as he follows, at his own unobtrusive pace, it seems that he is correct. Apparently it's all in the amount of brandy you use before applying flame.
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He has lunch!
It is ON FIRE.
"Care for a taste?" he says magnanimously, waving the blazing confection under Havelock's nose (though not close enough to melt off anything crucial).
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And holds out the pudding.
Expectantly.
It is still on fire.
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...
Swallow.
"...Interesting."