oneman_onevote | (no subject)

(no subject)

Havelock is in his now-mysteriously-non-milkshakey room, but in a break from recent tradition is not either reading a book or wrestling a giant killer living plant.

He is, however, standing upside down. It helps strengthen the upper body, see. Also, he doesn't get as many weird looks when he practises them in private.

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"You did," he confirms.

"Do you know what Miss- Lilly thinks of the situation?"

It should probably be mentioned that divorces are kind of unknown in Ankh Morport at Havelock's time.

If it's really an urgent thing, they tend to, er... call on the Assassin's Guild for mediation.

Puck was about to point out that no one gets congratulated for an accident-- damn Havelock and his tricksy subject-changing ways.

"I shouldn't quite say she was overjoyed," he says, making a face. "In shock is more like it. I do hope she comes round; 'tis rather an insult to me that she takes the business so badly."

"I'm sure it isn't personal," Havelock assures him mildly.

"Merely the unexpected situation."

Puck's expression brightens a bit at that.

The look fades quickly, however, to be replaced by a slightly apologetic frown.

"At any rate ... I am not quite sure what's to be done about it."

Havelock bites him lip slightly in thought.

"What form of marriage ceremony did you say was performed?" he asks, thoughtfully.

"We might check it to see if all is correct, at least."

"Er," Puck says.

"It's none I ever heard of. I believe the dear Captain Jack said it came from a people on the coast of Africa-- a land of my own world. But aside from the honeyed peppercorn and gin, I'm afraid I shan't be very much help."

Havelock knows a Captain Jack, he believes.

"I shall inquire," he says.

Puck blinks.

"Shall you?"

"It can't hurt."

Unless Captain Jack is more violent than he remembers...

"I suppose not," Puck admits. "And if there is some slight error with the ceremony we underwent, I suppose all shall be quite well."

Beat.

"Though there is still the matter of the chidlren."

There is a meaningful pause.

"...Children?"

Havelock's tone is mild.

This means nothing.

Blink blink.

Then, far too innocently, "Did I not mention?"

"...Not that I recall."

Which means OMG NO, DUH.

"Ah," says Puck, nodding.

A beat.

"... Well, there are some. A wedding gift, I suppose, and really I think I am already grown attached to them."

"Well, you have expressed such a liking before, I suppose."

He pauses briefly.

"Minor point - this isn't going to get you eviscerated, is it?"

Havelock learns from experience!

Puck looks scandalized!

"Certainly not," he replies. "I did say they were a gift. And from their own father, even."

Unless that Prince guy isn't their father at all, and furthermore a lot cleverer than he looks ...

But probably not.

"My," says Havelock blandly.

"What interesting parenting."

He's starting to think that Puck and Lilly could maybe be a step up for these children.

"Oh, I am well aware," Puck says, beaming.

He thinks he could be a step up for these children too!

(At least Havelock knows he won't try to eat them.)

(Encourage some guy from Dublin to eat them, maybe!)

"What is Lilly's opinion on the matter?"

She didn't really strike him as the maternal type.

Puck blinks.

He never exactly ... got that one figured out.

"Oh, I'm certain she's delighted," he says breezily. "Though I admit she did have the appearance of seeming slightly out of sorts. No doubt 'twas the rather sudden nature of the transaction."

"No doubt," Havelock echoes.

Sorry, he's just trying to imagine Lilly Kane with two babies. It's... tricky.

"Still I imagine the situation can be remedied. Better you two than nobody."

Poor kidlets. Where's a Milliways creche when you need one?

"Quite so," Puck agrees cheerfully.

"I am most pleased you approve, dearest."

Havelock smiles briefly.

"Out of interest," he says dryly, "What if I didn't?"

He tilts his head, blinking.

"... Of which? The children?"

"Yes. Or you as a parent, though given the evidence, it seems unlikely I would."

Havelock has few illusions about most parents.