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The letter is short, to the point, and written in neat capitals to aid decoding. Once the key is applied, it translates thus:
Dear Duo,
I regret to inform you that our situation has not improved.
Sadly, therefore, I cannot counsel your return for the foreseeable future, as there is now a significant risk of involuntary exsanguination by third party. I know Lady Vialle has been having some difficulties on that score, although she seems unharmed. Others have not been so lucky, although there have been no fatalities. I will keep you updated.
Our other problems have been remarkably absent. This is most welcome but ominous, to my mind. At least you know where you are with constant death threats, oblique or not.
I hope that you are doing well on your travels, and that the children have neither tired of their journey nor become too tiresome. Please let us know how you all fare.
Yours,
Marlowe
There is a postscript, in large spidery letters that look definitely different from the original hand. It simply reads:
P.S. SORRY.
Dear Duo,
I regret to inform you that our situation has not improved.
Sadly, therefore, I cannot counsel your return for the foreseeable future, as there is now a significant risk of involuntary exsanguination by third party. I know Lady Vialle has been having some difficulties on that score, although she seems unharmed. Others have not been so lucky, although there have been no fatalities. I will keep you updated.
Our other problems have been remarkably absent. This is most welcome but ominous, to my mind. At least you know where you are with constant death threats, oblique or not.
I hope that you are doing well on your travels, and that the children have neither tired of their journey nor become too tiresome. Please let us know how you all fare.
Yours,
Marlowe
There is a postscript, in large spidery letters that look definitely different from the original hand. It simply reads:
P.S. SORRY.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-23 04:35 am (UTC)From:Dear I No Longer Care About The Damn Codenames,
What. The hell.
Exsanguination? I HAD TO LOOK THAT UP. I thought it was BAD ENOUGH when the freaking DEVIL was after us, but nooooo, Puck had to go get into trouble that requires me to *use a dictionary.*
God. So just, like, FIX THIS already. Doesn't garlic work? Or holy water? I am totally okay with using violence, kidnappings, arson, whatever.
You could even trap Puck in a lantern Tinkerbell-style if you have to, because apparently when left to his own devices he likes to metaphorically slit his wrists and leap into shark-infested waters.
(Don't show him that bit or he might actually do it and then we will ALSO have killer SHARKS after us because Puck will be all "hahaha I am pretending to be chum isn't this a DELIGHTFUL LARK oh dear why are they all chasing me now?")
Lilly
P.S. The kids are still alive. I sold them for shoes yesterday, but the wussy shoe guy gave them back after like, five minutes. They didn't seem to mind, and I got to keep the shoes, so I'm calling that a parenting win.
I've also told them that Daddy is in a medical coma so researchers can find out what his DAMAGE IS ALREADY, but I don't know if they believed me. Feel free to make that true!
no subject
Date: 2010-02-23 05:02 am (UTC)From:He just ... may not have been entirely forthcoming.
My Dearest Duo,
Master Marlowe told me of your letter. I am touched by your concern, darling; nevertheless, I should like to reassure you that I remain quite undamaged-- though I do yearn for the sight of you and the children once more. I am delighted that you all continue heartily, and that your attempts to sell them away were but brief.
As regards our pale and blood-famished friend, I of course wish for nothing but his continued health and prosperity. To that end, I delight to report that the traditional charms against his kind seem to have no effect whatever.
Whether that shall hold true indefinitely remains to be seen.
Also: Were you aware, my dear, that there are those among our mutual acquaintances who feel that I am 'wrapped about Marlowe's little finger'? And that the whole affair is a secret of the very flimsiest quality? I am quite beside myself over it.
(Do I make strange faces when I think on him?)
Our common adversary and that pale blight upon the earth remain, the both of them, either absent or in shadow. I cannot tell which.
I miss you terribly.I look to your safe return.
Lady Vialle
no subject
Date: 2010-02-23 09:23 pm (UTC)From:That cuts me to the quick, Duo.
I share your feelings on the use of the traditional counters to the undead, and regret to inform you that they were ineffective. We shall monitor the situation. I am already monitoring Lady Vialle as best I can, just in case such a situation as you mention might arise. If she communicates anything to you that seems amiss, please do let me know.
In any case, I passed on your concerns. (Without betraying your confidence so far as to show her.) You may already have heard back.
I hope to have more positive news for you in short order,
Marlowe
P.S. You know, taken to its logical conclusion, you have there the makings of a very profitable confidence racket. Make sure to point out the finer parts of why it worked to the children.
Cannot oblige there, sadly. Will see what can be done by less drastic means.
There is always that lasso of truth, if they ever find where it ended up.