oneman_onevote | (no subject)

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There is a table. On it is a jar of sugar cubes, a jug of milk, a bottle of whiskey, and a large and steaming pot of coffee, a judicious distance from the double baby-carrier. Melodic burbling comes from within.

Havelock eyes one baby with a look that is somewhere around mildly puzzled, while Puck cheerfully sneaks his third lump of sugar and crunches it.

It's 'meet the Missus' day, apparently.

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The whole thing is very quiet. Quiet, and civilized, and-

"And okay, seriously? Are we all pretending it's totally normal and okay that I'm married to Puck and we have children via ambush and at least one boyfriend? Because if so, awesome, but if not and Havelock here's planning to duel me for whatever's left of Puck's honor I'd like to know before I finish my coffee."

She glances down at the cup.

"After all, having to pee during a duel would suck."

Puck blinks, looking slightly alarmed. (This is a difficult expression to manage when one is sucking on one's twelfth sugar cube.)

"Havelock?" he says, sounding slightly accusing. "You mean to duel my wife?"

A bright, sudden smile.

"I and my scant honor are most flattered, you know."

Ooookaaaay.

"I regret to inform you that I have no such intention, then," Havelock says dryly.

"...Out of curiosity," he continues, turning to Lilly, "Did you really think I would?"

"Maybe not really," Lilly admits. "But it would make more sense than inviting me to tea and it'd be kinda cool. I mean, as long as we dueled with non-lethal weapons because I am so not the trained killer in this polygon."

She pauses. She starts to grin.

"Havelock, have you ever heard of nerf weaponry?"

Puck siiiiiighs in Havelock's direction.

He is so unromantic.

But he brightens at Lilly, despite having no knowledge whatsoever of this 'nerf.' Frankly, he'll be surprised if Havelock doesn't either.

"Non-lethal dueling can be arranged," the assassin shrugs, "But I thought tea might be rather more civilised in front of your children."

Puck is absolutely right. It's remarkable that 'romantic' is even in his vocabulary.

"And... no, I cannot say I have."

Lilly waves away his concern for the children's sensibilities.

"Duels are good for kids. Well. The non-lethal kind. Or okay, they're not any worse for them than tea."

"I quite agree," Puck says, making a face.

Tea is gross.

Havelock eyes the softly burbling children blankly. Well, at least one will never lack an opponent for training with.

"Perhaps," he says guardedly. "They certainly seem to have a focusing effect on most young minds."

He should know.

"See? It's like Baby Einstein."

Lilly pauses.

"Okay, maybe more like Baby Darwin, but whatever. Close enough."

She leans towards Puck and drops her voice to a whisper.

"I'm going to lose, right? Because... I have no idea what the hell I'd do with the tattered remnants of your honor if I won."

Puck makes a face at her.

Havelock just sips his coffee.

He thinks it's safest.

Havelock is wise.

"Can I give him some nerfy blows though? I mean, nothing says 'You'd better be good to my husband's honor' like the terrfying possibility of styrofoam splinters."

He laughs.

Havelock hates you all.

I mean, he sips his coffee serenely, and pats the hand of the male child as he reaches out for something entertaining past his sister's nose.

Havelock asked for it!

Okay, not in any specific way, but Lilly feels quite strongly that dating Puck is like putting out a sign saying "Hi, Universe. Please Feel Free To Come Hit Me With Your Wacky."

And marrying Puck is like adding a "P.S. The Harder The Better!" to that sign, so she has no sympathy.

"Okay, that's maybe my new goal. Are we defining expression in the normal way, or since it's Havelock if I get a mouth twitch or an eyebrow raise will that count?"

Puck laughs-- very, very quietly. And sneaks Havelock a cheerful glance.

Havelock is adding more alcohol to his coffee. He then raises his mug to Lilly slightly, before sliding over the bottle.

Challenge so very accepted.

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